craig-parker.net > Stage & Screen > Public Appearances > Istrocon 2003 > Review by Nelwyyn
By Nelwyyn
We arrived at Bratislava at 2.30 pm. We didn't know the way to Istrocon and had to ask a lot of people. Nobody had ever heard of it! Finally a nice lady in a hotel helped us and showed us the way. It was not a big convention. I think there were only about 200-300 people. We didn't know in which hall Craig would appear, so we had to guess! We took the bigger hall, and had to wait a long time before the Craig Parker show started.
At 5.30 pm the lights went out and the curtains opened and we saw the battle of Helms Deep. And in the darkness a person entered the stage: CRAIG PARKER!!! He wore jeans, grey shirt and was very enthusiastic. On the side table stood a Slovakian girl for translation, who looked very nervous. Craig said "hello" in Slovakian language and the audience had great fun. Then he asked, if someone new arrived this day, because if not, he wouldn't have to stay! Some lifted their hands and he gave them an angry look and said "Shit!" But he smiled and and began answering questions from the audience.
The Questions:
Q: "How often did you shoot the dying scene?
Craig: "Only one time!"
Q: "Could you die for us, here on this stage?"
Craig: *rolls his eyes* "This evening in the bar, if I had
enough slibowitz (a very hard Slovakian drink) I will give you
the dying scene!" *he fell slowly down....*
(The audience laughed)
Q: "How does it feel as a dead elf in the halls of Mandos?"
Craig: *grin* "Not bad.... a lot of lembas and many beautiful
elven bunnies...."
Q: "What do the elves, before they fight?"
Craig: "Martinis or slibowitz!"
Q:" What do they eat except lembas?"
*he shakes his head* (a Slovakian girl shouts something in her
language, the audience is laughing) and Craig: "Exactly this..."
Q: "Why did Haldir arrive in Helms Deep?"
-Craig: "Hmm! He hanged about in Lorien, washed and dressed
his hair... a boring time!" *he shows the according moves*
"Then Elrond's call came at right time..."
Q: "Why didn't you want the embrace of Aragorn?"
Craig: *very indignant* "Remember, this guy was traveling
for weeks, was fighting, was sleeping behind the bushes and was
never changing his clothes...he was extremely stinky!"
Q: "The elves are very brave, and you Craig, are you brave
too?"
Craig: *laughing out loud* "No, I am the opposite, I've
a four years older brother and a sister. My brother often kicks
me down and I had learned very quickly, that is easier to run
away, than to be brave! I'll show you... if Mordor is on this
side.."
*he pointed at the left side of the stage*
"then I am exactly on that side!"
*he pointed at the right side*
Q: "What are your hobbies?"
Craig: *grinning* "Helping People, not bungee jumping. Fighting
for the world peace, saving the environment...(he began to enumerate
a lot of social engagements)... and finally lying!"
(The translating lady didn't remember all the things he said and
began to stutter and Craig went to her, touched softly her shoulder.
He was so nice!!)
Q: "Tell us something about the living in New Zealand!"
Craig: "It's okay in New Zealand! You can see some kiwi
birds on the ground.." *he showed the height of the birds*
"and between them there are a lot of hobbits..." *he
showed us again and kicks the hobbits with his feet * (the audience
laughed a lot)
Q: "How many conventions did you visit?"
Craig: "This is the second after Bonn, Germany and this
year I'll still visit four other conventions! *he sighs* "next
week Canberra, then Washington, then Bonn again, then Toronto....
then I have to sleep for three months, get married and relax..."
(I hope this was only a joke!)
Q: (a little Girl asked) "Do you still speak elvish?"
Craig: "Come on the stage, take your little brother with
you and test it!" (they came and Craig welcomed them very,
very nice)
"You tell me something in elvish and I'll do it!"
The little boy said: "Havo dad!"
*Craig sat down*
The little boy said: "Mellon!"
*Craig opened his arms like a door*
The little girl said: "Mae govannen!"
*Craig shook their hands and said Hi*
Then they didn't remember more words and Craig whispered to them
the ugly words of Gimli. The little boy said the words and Craig
shouted angry: "Get off my stage!"
Craig smiled and called them back and give them candies!"
Q: "If you have one last question to Peter Jackson, what
would you ask?"
Craig: "Please, please... let me act in the third movie!!!"
Q: "What experiences did you make at the shooting of Xena?"
Craig: "We've had a lot of fun there, wearing silly costumes
and funny hats and always losing against Xena!" *laughing*
Q: "How are the elves celebrating Christmas?"
Craig: "Strange Question! Think about their age! How old
are the elves...and how old is Jesus and the bible...now, you
know the answer!"
Q: "What is your part in Mercy Peak?"
Craig: "Good Question! A doctor with many problems, drugs,
family and unrequited love. We have just finished a season...."
Q: "Tell us about your part in the Rocky Horror Show!"
Craig: "I've a lot of intensive memories at this time. Kevin
Smith, a great actor and good friend of mine played the part of
Frank`n Furter. He died last year and we made one performance
to honour him! I played the narrator, luckily for me. They all
have to wear very little costumes. I got a suit! But in the end
I took off the long trousers...!" (The girls were screaming *g*)
Then the show ended and outside everybody got autographs and pictures! I had an article of a German magazine and asked him to sign it. He was very nice, said "Hi" and looked at the pictures. Then he cried: "Oh, my god, this chin...!" And he began to draw on my article. He painted over his double chin and asked a lot of things about this journal. My sister got a picture with him and then we visited very happy other events of Istrocon!